Real Dream Will Keep You Awake

It’s so easy to lose focus and get distracted or scared by things around you. You get half way and think, ‘That’s close enough.’

Dream Big

I can no longer sleep at night, my blood is pumping, my brain won't rest and I always have to calm my self. Gosh I don't wanna be lost again this time. Its so easy to get lost in this Zombieland.                                   

Yesterday, I did go to Seremban..its actually Taman Kristal..something something...its so effing far from Seremban. Hahah. This time is different. I'am so exited about going there to help this kid who injured by the motorcycle exhaust. I'm the one who dragged my husband to go there. That is very unlike me coz I am a person who only love the idea of doing stuffs and plan stuffs but will not really do it for real. If its travel that I'm planning then don't trust me. EVER. I don't feel safe outside my house or outside my car. But Hey!! I'm a different person now!                                                                                                                                   

I shouted "To da Rescue!!!", yesterday..otw there..heheh...

I can now feel it in my heart. I care, I love and most importantly I FEEL COMFORTABLE talking to people in their house, giving consultation..having normal conversations and dine with them WITHOUT CRAMPS. Yay meeeee!!! I'm proud of me. I wonder what changed me. I think its because of the wake up call yesterday...(from my post Slap in The Face).                                                                                        

I am MORE FOCUS now. CLEAR PERSPECTIVE .  

I desperately want people to like me before... so I put on masks to match their characters. Thing is, 'suan le'. If people doesn't like you then just let it be. Eg; I like Ryan Reynold but he doesn't like me and there's nothing I can do about it.. so be it, I'll go find other people lah. Hipocrit..!!! I thought I was before. Actually I'm just to ashamed to admit that i really-really-really care for people. Infact, I DON'T CARE, I LOVE. I just effing hate it when people turn me down when all i wanna do is to help them..Especially when there are children involved. $#!T. I sincerely don't want their money la. I did got broke while on the 'rescue mission' back then. Now that I'm going serious on putting it online and making it convenient for people, I gotta earn to sustain the biz and keep on feeding my need to contribute with the knowledge and the power to convince people that I have.                                                                          

Dont get me wrong, I wanna earn money...NO!! I MUST EARN. I don't solely live on the free Oxygent that I breath. To keep the web up and running cost money, annual fees..and etc. I know how to earn and that is not by ripping people off  ^___^                                                                                                                

There's so much love in my heart that it started spilling now